I am somewhat dubious about some memorials – like gravestones that simply record names, like that of my great-grandfather Joseph and family – that just stand there, weathering gradually, and sometimes left untended and unconsidered. After cremation, as with both mum and Dad, there may be no formal memorial at all. That may not be such a bad thing, as much of every loss is a private matter.
However, the Promenade from New Brighton to Wallasey Village – something that Mum saw constructed in the 1930s – offered an opportunity for a more public memorial that would also enhance a public amenity. This provided a long series of concrete bays that were, at first, filled by wooden seating, much of which was removed by the 1990s. Since 2015, a scheme organised by Wirral Older Peoples Parliament has provided new seating in these bays, beginning near the Marine Lake, and spreading towards Wallasey Village. These benches are financed by people who wish to provide memorials.
This seating is provided using strips of multi-coloured recycled plastic, fixed in the bays, and each one includes a plaque that records the people for whom this is dedicated. I ordered this late in April, at about the time of the funeral, and on 5 June I realised that it had now been fitted. There are two benches – one in memory of my first wife and my second wife’s first husband – and one to Mum, and now to Dad, who has been gone for over 31 years. These benches rest side-by-side, as do the plaques on each bench.
I wanted these to be in a part of the Promenade that would reflect both Mum and Dad, and this was, oddly, opposite a flood gate that guards the main car park for Morrisons. This proximity is not relevant, but it is the view from the seat that is appropriate. From here, you can look up Atherton Street, at the top of which is what was SS Peter & Paul Church, the “Dome of Home”, that Mum recalled being built, and that she attended. It is a matter of regret that the opportunity to attend a Latin Mass here with Mum could not be taken, but the timing of this (1000 in the morning) and the rigidities of the care facility in which she spent her final four years made this impossible. I doubt if Mum was aware of the benches scheme, but I hope that she would have approved.
Partway up Atherton Street was the Wellington Road flat in which my father Joe was living when he married Mum in 1947. It is not quite visible from the bench, but it has since been heavily altered. I recall clearing this flat with Mum after my grandmother left. The scene from the bench would be very familiar to both Mum and Dad, so it seems an appropriate location.
I had been waiting for some time to see these benches in place, and called over on 6th, to find them finally in place. That for Mum and Dad was already being used; a very quiet gent was sitting there, and, when I asked to see the plaque on their seat (that his back was obscuring) he was apologetic. I assured him that no apology was necessary, explained my connection, and said that I was very glad that the seat was being used already, as I approved of the idea of a memorial that was also a public amenity. “Well, it’s a peaceful place”, he replied. I thanked him for this commendation, and I hope that he, and others, will sit there again. I also hope that both Mum and Dad would approve of the bench and its meaning. I will certainly be sitting there myself from time to time.
Joan Boughey Recalled 